Everyone meet Frank. Frank is 40lb snapping turtle that wandered into a community where he did not belong. Frank needed to be escorted back to his local pond where he couldn't go all snappity snap on anyone (or cute puppies) so my friend and i jumped into action. Within about 2 minutes it was pretty apparent that Frank is a gigantic fucking asshole.
Here we see Frank gettin' all high and mighty trying to run the fuck away from us and get to the nearest basket of puppies that he could then chompity chomp simply because he is a giant fuck. Let me tell you something Frank, your dreams of being a Godzilla like terror on humanity are fucking over. You picked the wrong town Frank, you picked the wrong fucking town. Not like Frank was gonna make it easy on me though. I swear to god this bastard just about hissed and shit everywhere before we got him to calm the fuck down. Jesus Frank.
Frank then realized he was fucked so instead of cooperating and getting a free ride back to his pond OH NO. Frank here decides he is five fucking years old and he sits the fuck down and goes limp. Honestly Frank grow the fuck up. You think other turtles are acting like this at your age Frank, no. Frank here probably thought at this point we we're unqualified to deal with a shelled prehistoric asswipe but his ass was wrong. So wrong.
WE FUCKING LASSO'D THE SHIT OUTTA YOU FRANK.
Long story short we got Frank back home and saved the entire town. Frank was not hurt, and we treated the whole situation with care BECAUSE I'M A BIGGER MORE MATURE PERSON THAN YOU FRANK YOU SON OF A BITCH.
